he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
