I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
