Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
