Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I love you.
Bad choice
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