all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
