hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize