just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
