She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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