Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
