turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
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Like the friend zone has no room for winks
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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