btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
