I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
