i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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