She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
