So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
