im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
