It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize