Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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