it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
we're so committed to being not committed
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
