I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
