I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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