Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
