He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
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I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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