Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
