Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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