and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
