i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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