Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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