ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
