I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
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All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.