Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag