Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?

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  (516): whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"? http://tfl.nu/wiv5
  Replies (63) Good night (5440) Bad night (566)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??

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  (864): Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others?? http://tfl.nu/cnvm
  Replies (102) Good night (7138) Bad night (2439)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill

  (970): View more from Colorado

  did you ask her what wine to pair it with?

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  (305): gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill (970): did you ask her what wine to pair it with? http://tfl.nu/3bdr
  Replies (7) Good night (5636) Bad night (790)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him

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  (719): So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him http://tfl.nu/i94e
  Replies (21) Good night (775) Bad night (6146)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.

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  (301): Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background. http://tfl.nu/pa5j
  Replies (23) Good night (5705) Bad night (887)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home

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  (262): I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home http://tfl.nu/gzni
  Replies (26) Good night (13656) Bad night (964)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.

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  (506): I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision. http://tfl.nu/nkkw
  Replies (28) Good night (4577) Bad night (1472)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.

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  (484): I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case. http://tfl.nu/welv
  Replies (13) Good night (3312) Bad night (1156)
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  (619): View more from California

  Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings

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  (619): Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings http://tfl.nu/z81c
  Replies (13) Good night (3886) Bad night (1132)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

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  (940): Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/bomc
  Replies (14) Good night (4220) Bad night (1006)
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  (858): View more from California

  currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh

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  (858): currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh http://tfl.nu/1197
  Replies (6) Good night (1697) Bad night (776)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?

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  (570): I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to? http://tfl.nu/dwjv
  Replies (3) Good night (1157) Bad night (944)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.

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  (+44): My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head. http://tfl.nu/1t8h
  Replies (8) Good night (2483) Bad night (928)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?

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  (616): I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night? http://tfl.nu/mkh7
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (659)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"

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  (330): Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!" http://tfl.nu/2ydk
  Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (396)

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