We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole