He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
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100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.