Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman

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(440): I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman http://tfl.nu/jmt9

Replies (6) Good night (2350) Bad night (1494)
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(443): View more from Maryland

The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"

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(443): The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts" http://tfl.nu/th5a

Replies (37) Good night (1696) Bad night (7111)
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(607): View more from New York

please dont tell anyone i was drunk

(1-607): View more from New York

you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know

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(607): please dont tell anyone i was drunk (1-607): you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know http://tfl.nu/3807

Replies (12) Good night (1314) Bad night (4469)
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(330): View more from Ohio

It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.

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(330): It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this. http://tfl.nu/6tb8

Replies (4) Good night (545) Bad night (1248)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.

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(937): I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast. http://tfl.nu/9len

Replies (3) Good night (1113) Bad night (1031)
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(850): View more from Florida

Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.

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(850): Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks. http://tfl.nu/uggh

Replies (24) Good night (1480) Bad night (811)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)

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(775): Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume) http://tfl.nu/nwkp

Replies (6) Good night (1608) Bad night (565)
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(440): View more from Ohio

You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.

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(440): You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand. http://tfl.nu/z0q1

Replies (4) Good night (637) Bad night (369)
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(310): View more from California

That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...

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(310): That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire... http://tfl.nu/4kfh

Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (565)
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(807): View more from Ontario

I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off

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(807): I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off http://tfl.nu/3ozb

Replies (0) Good night (635) Bad night (334)
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(954): View more from Florida

I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.

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(954): I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller. http://tfl.nu/ozku

Replies (2) Good night (964) Bad night (339)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.

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(989): I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE. http://tfl.nu/7z2p

Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (309)
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(540): View more from Virginia

The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks

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(540): The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks http://tfl.nu/w7ql

Replies (0) Good night (395) Bad night (208)
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(607): View more from New York

He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??

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(607): He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman?? http://tfl.nu/pi0m

Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (195)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire

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(765): I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire http://tfl.nu/j01j

Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (294)

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