Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.

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  (914): Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people. http://tfl.nu/31i5
  Replies (17) Good night (674) Bad night (1976)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he should get drunk with us

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  (610): walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant (1-610): he should get drunk with us http://tfl.nu/datt
  Replies (20) Good night (5273) Bad night (641)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"

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  (214): i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat" http://tfl.nu/yhqk
  Replies (30) Good night (4897) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.

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  (802): I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/89bk
  Replies (154) Good night (1635) Bad night (40752)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie

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  (520): I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie http://tfl.nu/225r
  Replies (39) Good night (7461) Bad night (1548)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.

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  (224): finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/xu8i
  Replies (39) Good night (6797) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.

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  (702): She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed. http://tfl.nu/1h0x
  Replies (10) Good night (3390) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.

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  (512): I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect. http://tfl.nu/coze
  Replies (4) Good night (2456) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor

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  (765): The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor http://tfl.nu/xtoh
  Replies (7) Good night (2599) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.

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  (414): let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it. http://tfl.nu/b1tu
  Replies (10) Good night (1567) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.

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  (+61): we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together. http://tfl.nu/r78i
  Replies (6) Good night (3513) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Agreed.

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  (303): There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree? (1-303): Agreed. http://tfl.nu/l0rd
  Replies (7) Good night (1367) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.

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  (216): Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds. http://tfl.nu/t6po
  Replies (3) Good night (1807) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.

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  (608): Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this. http://tfl.nu/002x
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible

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  (518): Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible http://tfl.nu/sefo
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (216)

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