Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
