Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"

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(775): View more from Nevada

No, you can still breathe under the balls.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.

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(917): View more from New York City

I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.

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(516): View more from New York

my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number

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(208): View more from Idaho

He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.

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(541): View more from Oregon

We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.

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