DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
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So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
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Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
