I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
