carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
