So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
