NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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