umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
