Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
