dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
