No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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