I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
