whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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