I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
