I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
