We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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