Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
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