Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
