i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize