id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
operation have a gay friend backfired
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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