He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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