I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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