Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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