Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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