This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
