He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
