omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize