I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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