My sheets look like a crime scene.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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