Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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