I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
