I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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