that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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