Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
