Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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