AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
