Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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