And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
sex in a hospital.. check
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
