Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
this is an emotional support booty call
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
