i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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