Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
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I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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